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Look at their eyes
the funny ways they move,
wouldn't you care
to have a few
tickets you can share
with a friend or two
to see chameleons with
their shifting hues?

Come into the house,
the best funhouse, my dear;
here you can be scared
yeah, but have no fear
of the big mouth on the wall
or of the eyeball mirror;
maybe they might drool a bit,
mostly they just leer.

Here the lizards lounge
in various shades of green
and twitching eyes will see you by,
like something from a dream.
Don't worry they don't bite
besides they're pretty clean
and only menace vermin
if you know just what I mean.

Go through the next door
and see the clowny feet,
it is the only part
that the scalies leave.
Dog boy howls alone
and the bearded ladies weep
so it's safe to go in now,
while the culprits are asleep.

Yeah, the funhouse is a hoot
we're sure you will concur
all you scoundrels seeking thrills
or virgins white and pure.
While lines out front are long
our patrons who once were
walking on two feet
now are folks du jour!