Sunday Funnies are back!

dealing with the frigid cold here.

Winter...what'cha gonna do?

in flight

archival tape

features various pronunciations of

squee, and eep!

as told by the children

of those who've flown

into the wind with

black devils.

Odd tales, older than your father,

regaled with a drink

of rats on the wing

give chase to squeamish

thoughts

and squirming bums,

where the windows pause for shadows

and light has no taste

for monsters.

Tom and Dinosaur Hand review...

Tom and Dinosaur Hand review: Argo, Lincoln, Life of Pi and The Hobbit.

Dinosaur Hand: Ay caramba, el Tomas! That's a load o'movies!

Tom: I know, Dino. We don't usually see so many new movies, and these were all in the theater, so I guess things are looking up for us.

D.H: Heh, not our bank accounts.

Tom: I think of the four movies, Argo had to be my favorite. Ben Affleck directed and starred, and I gotta say: he knocked it out of the ballpark.

D.H: Yeah, I really liked the part with Sammy Sosa. This was very cool, and all of the explosions and gun runners and drug dealers getting whacked...Steven Seagal in his kimono twisting that machete into his guts...masterful.

Tom: What? Good lord, wrong movie, and Sammy Sosa? Wtf?

D.H: Your baseball metaphor threw me off...like maybe it was an interception, or a butt fumble...I don't know!

Tom: Obviously, Dino, this wasn't your type of movie. It was suspenseful, but not what you'd call violent...I thoroughly enjoyed it however, and so did the two old ladies sitting behind us who couldn't keep their mouths shut, probably because their hearing was shot and they didn't know how loud they were talking.

D.H: Damn, I hate going to movies!





Tom: Next up, a Steven Spielberg movie, and how can you go wrong with Spielberg?

D.H: The man who brought us Jaws, and E.T., and of course Jurassic Park...I jumped clean out of my skin when that T-Rex ate the lawyer! Then I laughed my ass off!

Tom: Right, and he directed great movies like Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan. Look up his filmography – wow.

D.H: He was the executive producer of Used Cars!

Tom: Um. I enjoyed that. Anyway...Lincoln. Wow, what a wonderfully great movie. And Daniel Day-Lewis gave what is arguably the best performance of his life. I didn't really like (at all) the last couple of movies he was in...but Lincoln was superb.

D.H: There Will be Blood! Where was it?

Tom: C'mon, Dinosaur Hand! Really; this was about politics and the 13^th Amendment, wheeling and dealing in Washington D.C...and Lincoln's woebegone life! It was quite immense. The human parts with his child, and his inconsolably demented wife were so...real.

D.H: Blither. Blither and blather. Blither blather...blah blah blah blah, bleh. And not even any popcorn. Swimming in a sea of popcorn, glub blub, blub.

Dinosaur Hand: I liked Life of Pi! The tiger was pretty awesome. But really, it should have eaten that kid. And there weren't enough shark battles!

Tom: Oh. This is the first movie I've seen in 3-D since Avatar, and if you haven't seen Avatar in 3-D, well then, don't bother seeing Avatar.

D.H: Yeah, that was very cool in 3-D. Totally, dude. Notice the rad hand gesture?

Tom: Indeed. The Life of Pi was interesting. The 3-D didn't add much, but it was visually beautiful to watch. The special effects were amazing. I've read the book...

D.H: Enough about “reading the book”, I know you're going to say the book was better. Some of us don't read, you know.

Tom: Actually, the movie and the book were pretty much the same. I remember liking the book, but not enough to ever reread it, so you may as well see the movie. It was good. Not great.

Dinosaur Hand: Okay, OK, my turn, my pick, the next movie and the last one we saw...was:

Tom: The Hobbit.

D.H: Bah! You stole my thunder!

Tom: I'm about to do more than that. This movie was a major neck aching, butt scrunching, back tweaking yawner.

D.H: But, the dwarfs!

Tom: Who cares. What were their names, who could keep track of them? Sleepy, Sneezy...Dopey?

D.H: Unfair! The orcs! And Gollum!

Tom: I was sooo disappointed in this movie. Everything was over the top... the action scene in the goblin caverns was completely utterly hokum...they made Bilbo into a hero too early – he was doing courageous things that he never succumbed to in Tolkien's magical book. I found myself laughing at the stupidity of the movie more and more every next scene. Peter Jackson, you should have relied on your story telling skills more than Weta Digital's mind numbing special effects. I left the theater with a crick in my neck – because I was holding my head up trying not to fall asleep (though I ought to have let sleep take me) – and an overwhelming feeling of nauseousness.

D.H: But, the eagles, and Gandalf...The Ring!

Tom: Of course there were a few nice parts, but the movie was awash with utter bunk and chaos. And good grief, there are to be two more!? Count me out.

D.H: Are you saying you didn't like The Hobbit, then?

Tom: Go soak yourself in a dish of Palmolive, Dinosaur Hand. We will not be furthering the dismal efforts of Peter Jackson any more.

Stick to the cartoon...it also sucked, but was a lot shorter.