The Best movies (that we finally got around to watching) of 2017!
Dinosaur Hand: Geez. We should get out more, eh?
Tom: Sure, but the couch is just sooo comfortable. I looked back to see what we have seen this year, and there were some good movies, and some pretty awful ones. Which do you want to review?
DH: You do the best, I'll do the explosion and gun shooting death flicks. Those movies get my digits wiggling.
Tom: OK. Early in 2017 we got out to see Hidden Figures and La La Land. I know how you feel about musicals Dino...
DH: That jazz guy, he had a cool convertible, but never raced it down an alley way or ran over a bad guy. He never did jazz hands! That movie could have been so much more!
Tom: I liked it. Many didn't, but it had some catchy tunes and it was entertaining. La La Land took a lot of awards. I don't think it will hold up as a great movie though, and i doubt you'll see a resurgence of big budget musicals. Unless Marvel decides to have its superheroes start singing and dancing around. That would be... interesting?
DH: Stupid, that's the word you meant to use. My pick of 2017 is Skull Island!
Tom: That's a good one, Dinosaur Hand.
DH: Get off my review, T. So, this badass movie had choppers getting chomped, and big lizard creatures and bombs and guns. Yeah, all the King Kong stuff you rely on, but none of the suck! Best King Kong remake, so you can skip all that other garbage. Go back and rewatch Fay Wray from 1933 if you have to, but Brie Larson in 2017 kicked monkey butt.
Tom: Except she didn't kick monkey butt, and even if she did, Kong isn't a monkey.
DH: Shut up anyway. Pick another movie.
Tom: Hidden Figures was really good. I liked all the computer spacey stuff and the history and there was fantastic acting. Good casting all around. Sorry Dino, no explosions or anything.
DH: Borrrring. There wasn't even a liftoff, was there? If there was i missed it because I fell asleep in my popcorn. Got a little salt in my eye.
Tom: Good grief.
DH: Next! Blade Runner 2049! Hidden Figures was a science movie, Blade Runner is a science fiction movie! Blam! Pow! Slam dunk, in your chunk, monk!
Tom: ?
DH: I don't know what happened, or why, but it was cool. Was there a wooden sheep too? Cool! Flying cars and blaster shootouts and flying car crashes and robots getting nasty ripping guts and pulling off heads. The sound effects, wow. Ear crunching noises. Weird, but cool. My hand was clenching with excitement.
Tom: I guess you recommend it.
DH: Waiting for Blade Runner 2050, in 2018.
Tom: One more, but I don't consider it A Best Movie, because it sort of wasn't even good. Downsizing, with Matt Damon.
DH: I agree, no explosions or gun fights, and besides all that, it just wasn't all that interesting. Some people got smallercized. So what?
Tom: I know. This movie was like an extra long infomercial, with a bit of social commentary thrown in.
DH: Spoiler Alert: Big time cursing, that was sort of funny, but not as funny as they thought it would be, unless you're really into that sort of thing, which, hey, maybe you are. If you are, then here you go: Poop, poop, poopity poop.
Tom: Yes, on a 5 poop scale, I give Downsizing 4 poops. I don't know for sure what that even means.
DH: Damon's Martian was better. A lot better, and it was full of shit!
Tom: Ha. Oh Dinosaur Hand...
DH: Last review: Get Out. What did you think of that one? It was sort of a horror/suspense movie.
Tom: Yeah, I know, I was there.
DH: Get Out was totally ok. It wasn't really all that scary or even suspenseful, but i liked the premise and it was good enough, and totally watchful. I remember pretty much everything that happened, so it wasn't forgettable.
Tom: Is that your criteria for movies now? Whether or not they're forgettable?
DH: Totally. And if they have lots of violence. So, Get Out was ok by me!
Tom: Thanks, Dinosaur Hand. Hope to see you next year.
DH: Ditto, kerBlam!
