Today’s Seldom Horoscope and Not News for the Faint of Heart & Please ignore this DRIVEL !
Great news , sprouts : tonight you’ll be getting a little wiggle room as Saturn and 2/3’s of his moons are slathered in sublime equilibrium with the revised magnetic poles of the new Geo-Confabulation engine at Port Monsnouts in San Puerto .
And that of course means that now , for a limited time only , you can drill through shale with a calibrated yellowwood bit . Also , brown is a good color for the week and your fancy keyword -- good for establishing contacts and super great deals -- is : Full Moon . And to elaborate , Miss Woody Smithhelper is engaged to be married to … an ancient Warthog manager a.k.a. editor of Feed Yourself with a Spoon and also without a doubt the finest man ever to turn Playdough into a fantastic Thanksgiving side dish . Recipes available through his blog and Facebook account ; avoid staring directly at pixilated images of Mr. Booph . That’s his name .
Only confirmed spies (all confirmed spies log on for a superior key word ) have a better key word this period and it is “ ************** ” , pronounced with a Cuban accent and slight genuflect . For lizards a change of color from scarlet to umber on the palms and lower squeltch is mandatory .
From the land of the Bass-Ackward Lizard People I have collected some beans in my pocket ; into each has been carved with Chinese characters the twelve monuments of Peru , and a senator’s mailing address complete with a portrait of his wife making bunny ears with Crisp , the Hawaiian spokes-hare of Kellogg’s Salty Chocolaty Breakfast Crisps , sold only in the UK .
Major dos : Do drink 8 ounces of water and swallow one pill ; do nod at passing soaker-headers ; do ignore preening beavers .
Major don’ts : Don’t make planetary purchases or drive fast into cones or cone-headed citizens . If you must smoke then only smoke left handed underwater and snorkel less . Smoke Trees are exempt ; as are their cleaning-gnomes .
Also , tomorrow is another day , confirmed by NASA engineers .
Fire !
