empty amphibious threats of the mushmeat kind

I do recall the
carbon dated frog
with a Greek lisp,
a prehensile velvet tongue
enveloped in a sweet
gravy fog of smarm.

In those days
of reverse sneezing--
systematic in lung
re-inflation to overcapacity--
we'd choose between
the lesser of
two reptiles,
the greater being elevated
to an obnoxious height
and often unobtainable;
this being the frog
with the forked tongue,
'it speaketh ill of thee
in closet quarters.'

In the blue corner then
the red cormorant
with repercussions
dressed in polypropylene
gave thanks and waived
all right to divine intervention,
instead serving up a hail Mary,
countered by an all enveloping
plague of minionites--
a horde of tiny,tailed tadpoles.

Humming scales the scarlet
seabird formulated a
punting committee coalescing
in a stalemate...
...and a reeking fury,
a scandalous
slurry of foul candorisms.
Retirement covered the
seditious frog's tracks
and to the back-end
of the future myth and rumor
unite,
giving way to feral fraud
and fellowship.

Thus we
break fast and consume
massive quantities.
Gather all and
say you tales of woe
and joice anew,
for the carbon dated frog
is away this day
unto you and say
'Hey! Let sleeping frogs lie.'