Time for a little Sunday reading! On Purpose!

Car & Truck & Car,
Is this BiG FooT the next get -around-town automobile?

Timely Home Architecture,
Can you really slap a Victorian entrance on your old shack?

Today's Future Tech,
How to keep the kitty out of the vacuum,
and the vacuum out of the liquor cabinet!

Sports for All!,
Can you teach an old bot New Tricks?

Foodie Pets,
Is too much soda
a Woofy nightmare?

Dusty Old Shit,
Sell those crappy portraits!

Backyard Farmwit,
Tending your chickens,
and juggling egg surplus!

... the big picture

Cheap thrills, cool cat

Tun-dun...dun dun dun...(and cue the typewriters clacking).

Today's Top News Story, by Mrs. Cleaver's brown Cat, on the Ten O'clock nightly news, with Sirrahn Rap.

“First, Meow!”

“Second, we have been led to believe that only on Blueberry Hill is there to be this thing, and we shall name it 'The Thrill', but this is perfectly insane.” editors note: this particular cat cannot say “preposterous”.

“Next” this cat it can also be said will not, because she is a cat, count higher than two. A dog, of course, can count to at least three, or sometimes four by mistake. Cat counting is unlimited, especially in multiples of mice. “There are thrills to be found in droves, by swatting flies.”

“After that, one must lick constantly. We in the supreme being world call this preening, and it is all everything, after snacks.”

“Thrills are overrated. Calm is to be expected and is the greatest joy in life. Blueberries are blue, and horrible, and hills are just too vertical.” This cat prefers carpeted scratching posts and feathers.

Tonight's editorial has been brought to you by Trixie Cat Bites and The Sun. Remember, The Sun will be going black for an hour tomorrow for technical upgrades to its Chromosphere. Plan accordingly and please dress in layers. This has been Sirrahn Rap with the Channel Ocho-Cinco Nightly News, have a bueno nacho.

Tom & Dinosaur Hand

first a quick shout out to Jeff, over at Whatever the Hell he's calling His Blog this week, as he has posted the new Touche' Cliche'...I'll have it up over here at some point, when I can fit it in...

Dinner...and a movie! A Theme Thursday post: Dinosaur Hand: Aha! Something I can really sink my teeth into!
Tom: I'm glad you're excited. Here's the thing, though - we just aren't sophisticated connoisseurs of fine cuisine, you know.
D.H: Speak for yourself, mush-up frog face. I love stuff like rat-a-tatty and horror devourers.
Tom: You mean ratatouille and, oh never mind. Obviously you are more the beans and franks sort.
D.H: ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Tom: Alright; what I was thinking was, we rate our favorite meals, you know, the stuff we cook ourselves, for our family.
D.H: And we grub it down while watching a movie? Excellent!
Tom: Too right; Burn After Reading. One of those great Coen Brother movies.
D.H: Hoo! Remember Fargo? What did we eat with that? Spaghetti?
Tom: What? Who knows. This movie had a great cast, including John Malkovich, Francis McDormand and George Clooney.
D.H: Don't forget Brad Pitt. (snort) He was a riot! What a dope.
Tom: Yeah – I liked this one a lot. It had a couple crude parts, but mostly it was goofy and a rib tickler.
D.H: Ribs?! Are we having ribs with this? Sweet, gooey, finger smacking ribs?
Tom: No, no...but we're cooking, Dinosaur Hand...ready?
D.H: I really like the spatula. Stir the pot, stir the pot. And frosting. And the licking of the batter.
Tom: Right. Now we're getting somewhere. One of my favorite dishes is pork chops over sliced potatoes.
D.H: Fancy.
Tom: Ha. Not really. Remember how we make it?
D.H: O.K. I'll play your game. First, set the oven to 325, then slice up a mess o' spuds.
Tom: Yep – it depends on how many you're cooking for. I figure at least one good size potato per person, but I really like the taters, so I slice more.
Layer the bottom of a 9X13 casserole pan with potatoes and top that with pork chops and sliced onions.
D.H: Onions shmonions. Why is it always onions with you. Are you in love with onions?
Tom: Maybe, a little. Put either water or a half can of broth over the whole bunch, some butter and salt...
D.H: ...then cover with foil and stick in the oven for one point five hours.
Tom: It's so easy that even me and Dino Hand can do it. Almost as easy as boiling water!
D.H: how does that work?
Tom: Okay then, easy as making toast.
D.H: That lever thing always gets me...
Tom: Um, easy as buttering bread?
D.H: ack, who has time for that?!
Tom: Last chance – easy as pie!
D.H: Ta – daaaaaaaa. Winner winner, chicken dinner!

Relax, take your shoes off, stay awhile....

my Toby, sawing logs...

it's a dog's life....

...and a cat's, too !!!

Monsters--Naturally!

Toby Won Kenobi, ala pooka bear, aka Cocoa Puff, Duke of Fur, el Doggo--dearest little monster Toby.

so, it's the season for creepiness....

saddle up cowboys--let's go on a Zombie Hunt ! Knot now!

gluttony; one of the 7 deadly sins

who makes those creepy noises deep in the woods?

Get over it! The Fence, I mean...

welcome to theme thursday...

I'm hopelessly on the fence over this topic...
On one side, there is someplace,
and on the other is another.
What's it all mean?
Is the grass really greener
on the other side?

Is gossip juicier when shared
over the fence?

Do good fences make good neighbors?

There are not enough good 'fence'
quotes, so I am going to make some up.

Get ready for this...

'Fences are like Luck,
they come in different colors.'

'My pappy once told me:
“Don't walk on that fence,
you'll fall and get hurt!”'

'Eat plenty of vegetables and you'll
grow up strong and tall
like Willy's fence.'

'A fence is only as strong
as a bulldog with bad teeth.'

'Don't worry,
I've got a fence for you!'

Abraham Lincoln overheard
talking to a cat:
“Climb down from that
fence, you screeching pus...”
never mind.

'If I've said it once, I've said
it a thousand times...
that damned fence is
full of knotholes!'

Feel free to use any of these exciting 'Fence' Quotations
at your Garden Club Meetings!

Now for a less exciting Collaboration
Cartoon Strip by Moi & Jeffrey at
Irreverent Irrelevance.
Look for more of these in the near future...
if we (by we I mean I)
can get our acts together.

Gone Fishing

We can take the phrase 'gone fishing' back as far as the neolithic period of human development; to go back further is just plain silly, because mostly all anyone did was to go fishing. About 10,000 years ago people had entered what we like to call the 'new stone age', or the 'Flintstone Era.' Take your pick.
A polite stone worker known as Bobstone somehow mass produced the first Gone Fishing sign when he was chipping out multiple doormats for local merchants. Bobstone apparently was attempting to etch a pleasant 'stick design' into the stone mats when he accidentally invented language and coincidentally spelled out 'gone fishing' in a rudimentary caveman font, sans serif. The rest is history, for these were the neanderthals and everyone knows that they eventually phased out, to be totally replaced by yours truly, ahem, modern man.

...and that is your history lesson for the day, or more likely, the year.

Enjoy senseless comics:

TT- A Brush with Insignificance

I feel like Dante, lost in the nine levels of hell
—I'd taken a wrong turn and Virgil my ever vigilant guide
had left without me.
He crawled up over Satan's scaly carapace
into the fresh air of a transitory state.
I stayed believing myself secure from the horrors that belied me, but even as I cleared a new oasis
and stood back to refresh myself
the void crumbled in about itself
filling in like the sand
fills a dug hole on a beach.
The waves go out,
the waves come in.
This is called Job Security,
but it is a little piece of hell on earth...
Now I've succumbed to the pleasures
of my home, where I recline
and wield my brush,
dipping into the infinite palette
waving it higlety piglety at a fresh canvas.
It is a joy to escape the rigors of responsibility
into a paradise of distraction. What was, isn't now,
and tomorrow's another day; what is it they say?
“Carpe diem?”
I say 'fresh fish smells best in nature's broth'.
Ha ha, not really—that's stupid.

don't go to the light!

Theme Thursday this week is LIGHT !!!
be like that moth and be drawn to
everyone else's posts...

Dang! It's a war

!! this post doubles for Theme thursday's BALL, and the 10th Daughter of Memory's WAR!!

Oct. 02 13, 3:02:05: “or-no gadapples, enter the Snapple woods 'or the unflappability, smoke and dangle a herring, oh you bad-ass, silly head puddin' pie”.

Oct. 02 13, approx. 5:00 am: President of The United States of America awoken by chief of staff and informed of transmitted message from outer space.

Oct. 05 13: message is abandoned as a prank, SETI investigated.

Oct. 31 13, 12:01: Alien spacecraft hover over vacant soccer fields in every European and South American country. The spacecraft appear to be armored octopi of every shape, color, and dimension.

Oct. 31 13, 5:00, approx: SETI staff are released from prison to decipher new message, but their beards get in the way.
A reclusive woman in Ontario while smoking her 2000th cigarette has a premonition that leads scientists to an alien Rosetta stone. The message is translated into gibberish, but reads something to the effect of:
“allow us Garghouls to join your planetary league of Suckerball, or behave to feed you your brains to us.”
The Soccer Federation President agrees with the demands of the Garghouls after the Nigerian team is consumed later in the day. Preparations are made to hold World Cup soccer games ASAP, or sooner.

December 1 13: Garghouls learn many earthly languages and can fluently say “Malingering earthlings, your brains are high in protein” in every tongue, if with an otherworldly accent and lisp. The games are put on the front-burner.

January 1 14: The first ever out-of-cycle and Intergalactic World Cup Soccer games begin. Italy lands in the Space bracket with the Garghouls. The game is lopsided with the Garghouls wearing fluorescent streamers from their tentacles and employing a goalie as wide as a wooly mammoth, and that was only its oral cavity. Every time an Italian fell over and grabbed his shinbone, his brain was eaten. Several Garghoul forwards were red carded for dining on the field which ended badly for the officiating crew, who were summarily drained of their fluids.

January 3 through 7: Throughout the soccer community there is a mighty uproar, and over the following games between the Garghouls, Greece and Turkey, some fans rush the field and pelt the aliens with souvenir programs and blast horns. Garghouls take their ball and leave, vowing revenge on the tasty earthlings.

February 02 14: four months to the day from the initial transmission, fleets of alien warships appear over the great soccer fields of the planet earth, where they are met by painted soccer fans carrying sticks and brandishing sharp rocks. The announcement is made over deafening bullhorns, out of the sky: “Argh, we come to decimate puny earthlings, and score many goals, weak and pathetic whiny and soft pink brain holders. Prepare to serve up your innards.”
The ships land outside of the stadiums and to a tremendous fanfare the Garghoul soccer teams storm the fields with their squads of eleven players, and are easily beaten to death by insane throngs of rapid soccer fans.
Only the Tibetan team is unsuccessful, where the Garghouls successfully score 300 goals then consume the residents as they lay down in peace. The remaining Garghoul team is now on display in a Liverpool zoo where they foolishly skirmish and rugby groupies patrol the perimeter.

February 02 15: The first anniversary of the defeat of the Garghouls is celebrated worldwide, and the alien threat is thought to be extinct, as every inhabitant of the Garghoul world was soccer nutty and gave their lives to the cause of taking the World Cup and gaining universal dominance over the sport. SETI officials scour the galaxy for more signals of wacky aliens.

Long live the Federation Internationale de Football Association.

click picture to enlarge

p.s. this written after a dialogue with Jeff

of IRREX2