htly off’ side is talking to yourself . Usually , when I hear people talking to themselves , I pretend I don’t . They might be carrying a weapon , and probably wouldn’t think twice using it on whoever or whatever might answer them in their ‘state’ . So far I only talk to myself when I am really miffed , and then it is loudly talking and I am prone to throwing things , too . So I don’t believe I am totally crazy yet , just going there .My craziness involves trees , which I am finding fascinating more and more every day . It started with wanting a tree in my backyard . Until I had a backyard of my own I could have cared less about having a tree around . Now I had to have one . I dug up a small maple , probably just a season or two old , and stuck it in my yard . Maples are really common ; everyone knows a maple when they see it -- for goodness sakes , its leaf is on the Canadian flag , it’s a hockey logo ! Wow , look at that maple !
So , now my maple is looming over my porch ; soon it will by looming over the second story and dropping whirligigs into my gutters and I’ll be swearing at the damnable maple tree ! Still , I love it and anticipate the shade it will lend to the sun-baked porch and the wind break it will provide through the long winter months .
But it’s a maple ! So what !
Now there is a cherry tree next to my driveway . It was in a five gallon tub when I bought it for ten bucks . Now , for the first time , it is bursting with ripe red cherries . It bloomed like a wild thing this spring . Really , I don’t care for anything cherry , except maybe cherry Kool-Aid , but the birds are happy . There is a different cherry tree behind the house ; it bloomed these great big blossoms , like roses in triplicate , but so far no cherries ; maybe it is an ornamental cherry and won’t have fruit . That’s fine … don’t like cherries
But it’s a maple ! So what !
Now there is a cherry tree next to my driveway . It was in a five gallon tub when I bought it for ten bucks . Now , for the first time , it is bursting with ripe red cherries . It bloomed like a wild thing this spring . Really , I don’t care for anything cherry , except maybe cherry Kool-Aid , but the birds are happy . There is a different cherry tree behind the house ; it bloomed these great big blossoms , like roses in triplicate , but so far no cherries ; maybe it is an ornamental cherry and won’t have fruit . That’s fine … don’t like cherries
Then of course , there is the little birch tree ; it is growing slowly . And the red maple ; also slowly growing . And the two crab apples that came from the Arbor Day Association -- the only two trees of the ten they sent that have survived . They are fruiting this year and I am looking forward to biting into the miniature , tart little apples .Still , they are all pretty mundane , everyday trees . Common . Not weird in any way whatsoever . I wasn’t impressed .
Wandering around a garden shop I spotted an odd tree . It wasn’t very well developed , but looked great on the tag … a weeping mulberry . Fantastic . I waited for a sale and pounced . After a couple years it has flourished and looks like a giant Cousin It , standing tall over my garden , crowding out the coreopsis and the mounded cranes bill geranium .
A little ash was growing by the front walk , under the burning bush . That was last fall . Now it’s about three feet tall and star of a new garden bed at the yards west end . In 4 or 5 years it will doubtless be littering my yard with a deluge of fall leaves . Where am I going to put all those stupid leaves ?
Ash trees are boring as well , fast growing , possibly a bad choice as they can be devastated by insects from the orient , but lovely … all trees are .
Ash trees are boring as well , fast growing , possibly a bad choice as they can be devastated by insects from the orient , but lovely … all trees are .
After surfing around the net I came across another strange little number , a corkscrew hazelnut , also called a Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick . This is a peculiar little number . It’s branches twist and curl around and in and out and around themselves quite curiously . And every year they do so all over again until eventually I imagine the thing will look like a giant optical illusion of branches that will cross your eyes permanently , unless you avert your gaze . Now it is shrub-like , but in time it will mature into a great , crazy behemo
th of insane Halloweeny proportions . Can’t wait .
Of course I’ve seen more trees about and in the shops , and on the internet , that I covet . Take for example the Chinese dogwood , or the yellowwood tree . Also , the tulip poplar , with it’s softly shaded and perfect tulip-like spring blooms . Across the street are two awesome sweet gums , complete with their alienesque seed pods , sometimes called monkey balls , that will eventually mature and drop to the lawn and probably get stepped on by bare feet to cause surprised yelps . I want one ! I am running by them every few days on my way back from neighborhood jogs to monitor their progress … how long does it take to grow a sweet gum by seed ? An eternity , I suppose .
Now I have found another little thing growing in my yard , and I dug it up and moved it into an empty spot , a place once occupied by a dogwood bush that had started looking rather seedy -- like a tramp that thought to homestead next to the quaint brick walkway . Like a heartless landlord I evicted the poor sucker . The new renter is quiet , and unobtrusive . Sure , now he is , but in a couple years what will he be like ? I know nothing about this guy , don’t even know if he is really a tree , or just some shrubby thing , or maybe even a shiny weed
? Who knows ? Not me !
th of insane Halloweeny proportions . Can’t wait .Of course I’ve seen more trees about and in the shops , and on the internet , that I covet . Take for example the Chinese dogwood , or the yellowwood tree . Also , the tulip poplar , with it’s softly shaded and perfect tulip-like spring blooms . Across the street are two awesome sweet gums , complete with their alienesque seed pods , sometimes called monkey balls , that will eventually mature and drop to the lawn and probably get stepped on by bare feet to cause surprised yelps . I want one ! I am running by them every few days on my way back from neighborhood jogs to monitor their progress … how long does it take to grow a sweet gum by seed ? An eternity , I suppose .
Now I have found another little thing growing in my yard , and I dug it up and moved it into an empty spot , a place once occupied by a dogwood bush that had started looking rather seedy -- like a tramp that thought to homestead next to the quaint brick walkway . Like a heartless landlord I evicted the poor sucker . The new renter is quiet , and unobtrusive . Sure , now he is , but in a couple years what will he be like ? I know nothing about this guy , don’t even know if he is really a tree , or just some shrubby thing , or maybe even a shiny weed
? Who knows ? Not me !My wife says I’m crazy . I tell her there’s a little room over here , between the maple and cherry for a little specimen tree . She says , “You’re nuts .” She’s probably right .
