Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XL is one size my better .

me :

Recently i was forced by gnomic militants to admit my lack of self portraiture , hence this post ; an historical event for sure .

First a biography . For this i contracted the only hack writer i know to describe my life in 3 words because i only had three $s in my wallet . He writes good .

example : 'Once I saw there on that ground a toad !'
and another : 'It were a real good toad , to.'

So here's the big three commissioned words -- hope you like :

Tom is good

Full stop not included ; punctuation was extra .

I suppose i could have done the punctuation myself because i have some experience with that , but i'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer .

This is me discussing future projects with my Tyrannosaurus Rex shadow-hand . Sometimes after drinks he slurs a bit and sounds more like a duck ; but then , i have read that birds are descendants of the terrible lizard , so it is nothing to be ashamed of , right ?



Here i am worried that after falling through a black hole i will be squarshed like a peeled grape sliding down the gullet of Cleopatra who is dreaming of ice cream because sitting in a boat on the Nile during the dry season is so damned uncomfortable , and the flies are thick as flies . Is there a better metaphor for the thickness of flies , i ask ?

When in reality , or at least cartoon reality , Stephen Hawking is wrong and a black hole is merely a portal to Dairy Queen --convenient for Anthony since i don't think Double Bubblegum Pistachio Dip was one of the 31 Flavors available to ancient Egyptians .

Actually , black holes aren't even real -- just something i saw in an old Disney movie -- so this is my I-still-think-the -Hadron-Super-Collider-is-going-to-kill-us-all-or-turn-us-into-LSD-induced-rubber-necking-chickens look .

Experimenting w/Roman Numerals Day EX-VEE-EYE

Update on Hadron Collider Calamity !



Breathing a temporary sigh of relief , it seems we are all still here in one piece at this moment in time , unless we are existing in an alternate universe as a joke or something . Still , the stock market seems to have taken a huge hit as rumours of our demise are overstated , yet still undetermined , and hackers are now in control of the collider because scientists had pirated 60,000 computers to evaluate the results of the atoms and protons and such colliding willy-nilly into each other and the on/off switch is seemingly stuck and no one can figure out which plug needs to be pulled to turn it off since there are a lot of plugs all strung out over the entire countryside into every house within a thousand kilometer radius . It is a mess .



Until the data is compiled and decoded and analyzed within a petabyte , we will not be sure if we still exist in or not ... considering the mountain of data still to be dissected , we will probably not know for certain for a week or a month ; until then live your life like it's your last day on Earth .



Toodles .

Experimenting with Roman numerals , day XIV .

Do Over !

Tomorrow is the day that civilization has been working its way toward for a good many years .
I think the troglodytes may have supposed it , or dreamed it . Their dreams were probably what did them in ... once they figured out the uselessness of it all they all sat down around the fire and smoked funny plants until the neanderthals came in and stole all their stuff and that was that .
So what. Probably not the way it all went down ...

Back to tomorrow , in Switzerland , home of whom is arguably the greatest tennis player that ever lived . In several billion years the new universe will have no inkling of tennis or Switzerland or the greatest last latest super collider in the world , a world which no longer exists and in fact maybe never even did !

Hold onto your socks ! Oops , they no longer exist .

So here's the proof that we humans on the planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy are the most advanced civilization in the universe or anywhere conceivable or for that matter inconceivable :
We have created the fantastic Super Collider .
Of course , we aren't the first .
This is a scenario that has been played out , maybe , several dozen times , perhaps even several million times , and God is just waiting for us to flip that switch ... again .

The Large Hadron Collider (LCR) outside of Geneva is , after decades and billions of dollars , ready to heat up and reveal all of the mysteries of the universe . Scientists believe that by bouncing protons into each other at the speed of light that they will recreate the big bang and find out what the stars are made of , what is dark matter , what is the meaning of life , how is Brittany Spears possible ? You know , all the really big questions .

Some people , important people , think that this experiment will actually create mini black holes that will swallow up Europe , oh well , and then everything else in the vicinity ; meaning you and me and even the entire Beatles' catalogue . All of our stuff ! Egad .

Other important people say 'Bumpkiss' . Apparently they are the more important people because the experiment is going to go off without a hitch . Are we doomed ? Most say 'no' .

Ha !

Here's how it will go down : When Peter Higgs throws the switch tomorrow the protons will in a split nano second or even maybe probably much much less then that squirt around the 27 km circular track buried under Switzerland and will in fact accurately recreate the big bang . It will be spectacular ... only God and his posse will witness it ... as every particle everywhere on Earth and the universe is sucked back into one tiny little speck of nothing that will hover like an irritable itch for an instant then in an impossibly magnificent spasm explode and create a whole new expanding universe .

And that is how it goes ; every time a civilization becomes advanced enough to create a really cool super collider , it decides to use it and doing so destroys itself by recreating itself . Weird .

We have basically created a big reset button .