Try something new:
This 2X double entendre
Echolocation vs. ehcolocution
Salve, applied
Liberally,
Or slathered.
It is so specialized,
Percolated in fact
By hand picked mole rats
Strategically dressed
By Alpacan wool junkies
In mauve.
Secretly, then emitted,
Rather secreted properly
Through portal pores and
Reverse squeezed into
Crimped tubes, having
Driven production costs to
Inf-inf + one oh eight.
Tiny indigents hired by
Toothy celebrities expertly
Apply caffeinated logos
With radioactive
Tongue glue--
Please recycle--
Save the earth--
Have you hugged
A whale today? :
Reflective sticky labels
On rolls lifted
Hydraulically
By trained bears
By trained monkeys
By organ grinders grinding
Metallic beardos.
Tour this factory,
Two dollars;
Our ergonomic bullet carts
Zip you inverted
Into pneumatic tubes,
Accessorized in
Packing peanuts
To the very end:
A confectionary ampersand
Gift shop backslash gotcha.

Toby meets the Little Man in my Garden.

Very nice weather this weekend, and we finally got some rain, so the grass is starting to be a little less brown and a bit less crunchy.

.

So Toby and I wandered in and out of the plants and along the bricks picking errant weeds and grass that’s weeded its way into the path or planting beds. I picked, he chewed.

.

“That’s a good boy.” He likes to help, but he is actually always in the way. “Good ‘ole Toby!”
.

“Aye, best weed in the South Farthing.” That was the little man who lives in my garden. He was hanging out under the weeping mulberry, playing mumblety-peg with William Shakespeare.

.

“What?” I recognized the voice, but was confused by the words.
.

“Why ya dunderpuddin’ brain; ya pooldel hugger! Ya said ‘ole Toby, din’t ya? It’s a smokable weed I say, from the South Farthing! Git wit it, dundlepoo!”

.

Must be true, he would know,
.

“Hey,” said I, “I thought you were going to let up on the weeds this year! Look at all these weeds.”

.

“Well, ye booger…ye high flying squasher! Look at that beast! Ahgg! Get it back, I say. That black beast, that coco puff!”
.

Toby was sniffing at the little man. Toby likes chewing on little things like the little man. Toby found a baby sparrow that had fallen from the bird house and was sniffing at it earlier in the month. He gummed it a little, just to get the general taste of baby sparrows, I think, but otherwise was pretty gentle. I investigated and got my ladder out, and a plastic bag to pick up the wee thing, then pushed it back into the birdhouse. If it lived I don’t know.

.

“That’s a dark, crazed mammal with teeth, a hairy pooka bear from Hades! It has beady black eyes and drool!” The little man was actual coherent, in his panic.
.

I pulled Toby back some. I could see where the little man was coming from, because seeing Toby coming at you from eye level can be a bit daunting…he is fast and his white teeth stand out pointedly from his black muzzle. “He’s just a puppy, he’s more curious than anything…he just wants to taste you a little bit.”

.

“What, ahem, flabberty whacking moles and a toaster full of wheezes on you! A pox and red worm drool fits for the Toby monster! Honking wet poodleawhatzits! My bones!”
.

“He’s a poochon, not a whatzits.”

.

“####! More weeds! Willy, hand me the Burpee weed catalogue! Weeds all around!”
.

Shoot, I guess I’d better keep Toby away form the William mulberry tree. I think I’ve got a long season of weed picking ahead of me…sigh.

2wo

My biggest sale yet
Of the Pleistocene bubble wrap
Received international honors
And a Kerplewey Award
From a double-naught contingent
Of ant-spy farmers.
With a fat tolerance
Of eleven micro-noids,
A 5-second
Grab-your-ankles and
Say ‘cheese’ technique*
Was not
Uncommon,
So drones were pretty much safe,
While the grub faction
And her queen
Required a viscous
Shielding agent,
Also available in
The spring catalogue.
*diagram in Chinese.

Immortal torpidity
Shortened to Z
In the personal ads
Is a heavy hitter;
But as a contact number
Is rarely available,
Only members
Will meet in code,
Trading secret handshakes
And duct tape innuendo.
They hobnob then
Dine on fresh meat.
By now all the good ones are taken.

Thursday Shoe Post!

Great moments in Shoe History, not in chronological order!

1) Buster Brown is a comic strip boy--mischievous in every way! Now he is known for selling shoes…how odd!

2) Elves assist an elderly old man in producing shoes…old man pays off by making clothing for elves…elves become slaves for life…old man gets rich by selling shoe company to Buster Brown for a million bucks. flickr pic: Lachlan Hardy

3) Bilbo Baggins forgoes shoe wearing, preferring his furry feet, causing shoe sales to plummet in Hobbiton and surrounding areas. Economic crises ensues, enabling Sauron to build a big tower and look around woefully.

4) Podiatrist to the bugs, Horatio Whatsit creates 100 tiny shoes in a test-tube for his pet centipede.

5)”Don’t Tread on Me” slogan accepted by revolutionaries, but Nike shoe emblem is nixed for the flag design.

6) Old woman who lives in a shoe looking to sell. Shoe is a fixer-upper, but is in a great location close to shopping, schools and mass transmit. A must see!

7) The stiletto--’nuff said.

flickr pic:Francesca Anderson

8) FTD guy puts wings on shoes, halves delivery times.

9) The variety of shoes is diverse…there are walking shoes, running shoes, hiking shoes, bowling shoes, golf, cleat, skate shoes, snow shoes, and untold kinds of dance shoes, and for every sport there is a shoe, there is probably even a couch potato shoe--perhaps it is a slipper!

10) Imelda Marcos had 1060 pairs of shoes…she was a beauty queen and despot!

11) There is a sneaker tree in Nevada, must be true!

flickr pic: George Eastman

12) Famous movie shoes: Dorothy’s Ruby Shoes, Cinderella’s glass slippers, Spicoli banging a tennis shoe on his head..."Whoa, that's my head."

..........So what's your take on shoes?

Philosopher opinions welcomed here:

A Philosophical Query…








Intra or extraterrestrial teleportation
Provides a mixture of
Atoms in discombobulation
Whereupon a traveler is
Enclosed, happily vaporized,
In a sense imaginably off’d,
Only to be transmitted
Instantly or close enough
Elsewhere where imposter atoms
Thoroughly integrate
The partaker
Body, and soul?

A New kind of Existence

Options for easy living
in the Easy Dome:

Transparent shopping in
Certain circles is a
Fast option for remaining
Mostly unseen, except
By mothers and their children,
All inoculated against
An obscure strain
Of poodle flu, known
To elongate beagles and
Their silly cohorts
Lifted to a plinth
Of mere satisfaction.

The filmy mode of purchasing
Is too well liked,
Enjoyed to excess
By primary privet providers
On redundant holiday weekends
When the fog-damned
Verbal emissions
Cloud the shrub shrouded hillocks
Into a jaw dropping submission
And heat-seeking sparklers
Can ignite the umber foliage,
Umflage, until adult
Beverages ensue
The hilarity.

Thirdly, given the
Familiarity of cousins,
A faulty crane lifting
Twelve aunts into a
Recycling vat
Can be a fine excuse to
Divide furniture into swaths
And into a derelict byway
Of the Easy Dome
a mobius framework
That will attract bees
In perpetuity.

No other rules in
The Easy Dome apply
To aunts or their
Symbiotic shadow beings
That gather in jelly jars,
Untouched at family reunions
For obvious reasons.

Rhyming Wednesday, rhymeless, sorry.

Rage Against the Poet

A poem is like an
Anvil dropped from
An impossible cloud-like
Appendage into the
Lap of a devil.

Until the imp recoils
From the touch
Of an angel, the
Anvil will remain hot
Like an ember
Then, in a cloud,
Steam will force
The fiend to clutch
At its red poker orbs
To drop the burning anvil.
Like gnats from a kicked pip
Tiny angels
White and windblown
As a dandelion seed head
Scatter and coalesce
To the anvil, fluff
And pop into smoky blotches,
Sacrificed to cool
The anvil until a
Smattering of the laboring
Diminutives lower the
Smoldering weight onto
The head of some
Love-struck waxing shmuck,
Then conjure from
Reddening lumps
The cherubim packing ice to
Soothe loves hard lesson--
While the poet suffers on,
Torturing the inflicted with his
Rhyming couplets
From hell and back again,
Mistaking Dante for
A sweet strawberry sucker.

ornate mathematics

It was a percentage play
Concluding with a punctual demise,
For his cost effectiveness paled
Beside that he failed
In every way intrinsic or other
Though his ornate buttons trajectrally
Shot holes in one over-unctuous
Theory that :

“should another hold fast
And query, a female of
Fine standing would
Appear nonfazed or
In any event should.”

His usefulness occurred somewhat rarer
As this theorem proved a mortal error
In the field while perfunctory on paper,
And his end, to she, seem’d satisfactory.

Rhyming Wednesday

So Wednesday is the time
To brush up on my rhyme
That I’ve put aside in favor
Of verse without that flavor

.

Of poetry it’s said
Is good for being led
Out on the verve of green
Vibrant nature’s what I mean.
.

This verdant way allows
Nature poets to abound
And their waxing tongues to glow
With vibrant wordages that flow.

.

As they recline upon the lawn
Spewing words like dew and dawn
And the ladies there will sigh
Onto hankies will they cry
.

Then the poet strums his lute
And is backed up by a flute
And the ladies will serve tea
Waving fans to fluff the breeze.

.

Here comes the selling point
Don’t stress out to earn that coin
Release your inner, wordy pearls,
It’s the sweet talkers get the girls.

2 more of little or no consequence, redux

As promised, a teaser
Of the noblest petunia,
E'er the pen dips
Into a floral inky bloom
This redacted pundit
Trashed the scum bucket,
Was upheld by the
ski police for failing
To flail at
Obsequious obstacles,
And moshed into
A hurdle of moguls.

Now it was said the
Myriad of clusters
That swept into apogeal
Orbit of the earth
Sparkled and was peopled
Exclusively by something
Akin to a perennial onion.
Pliny the Elder attempted a cursory
Classification, but with
Undue consternation
The bendy spectacles
Countered intuitively

via Fistfuls of prongs
That took to wearing shapeless hats,
Suggesting maybe an entity
Evoluting toward Jimmy Stewart
Which in advanced algebraic equations
Came to fruition, eventually,
Though just the one time.

Beer Garden:

Funky Thursday!

Family, the Garden, Tobysaurus Rex (the puppy), Running, Work, Blogging...

I wish i had more time for the latter, but summer brings a lot of distractions!

As Funky is the topic this week, at least I can drop this into the mix, it is weird at least.

_________________
Pack it in
The flap packer
Whack-a-mole.
Fold it, pack it
Stack it up
Emulsify.
Keep it save it
Leave it back.
These souvenirs
Take up space;
Ditch the socks
And underwear
Last year’s skivvies
Skittish whizzies
Buy anew.
Lack the memories
Catch a snooze
Check the mattress
Upturned pillows
Nick the shampoo
Pack it up whack-a-mole.

My Tobysaurus Rex...he has sharp little baby teeth!