Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XLI

This morning was bored , so surfed a bit and toward

'bout 2:30 or three got my fix of McKee ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdHE1eyXgI8 )

The beat was fine and a catchy rhyme

Tonsils and a gnome , then got alien hand syndrome

Egad -- that bad :

Onomonopia -- i've contracted Spasmodic dysphonia !

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XL is one size my better .

me :

Recently i was forced by gnomic militants to admit my lack of self portraiture , hence this post ; an historical event for sure .

First a biography . For this i contracted the only hack writer i know to describe my life in 3 words because i only had three $s in my wallet . He writes good .

example : 'Once I saw there on that ground a toad !'
and another : 'It were a real good toad , to.'

So here's the big three commissioned words -- hope you like :

Tom is good

Full stop not included ; punctuation was extra .

I suppose i could have done the punctuation myself because i have some experience with that , but i'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer .

This is me discussing future projects with my Tyrannosaurus Rex shadow-hand . Sometimes after drinks he slurs a bit and sounds more like a duck ; but then , i have read that birds are descendants of the terrible lizard , so it is nothing to be ashamed of , right ?



Here i am worried that after falling through a black hole i will be squarshed like a peeled grape sliding down the gullet of Cleopatra who is dreaming of ice cream because sitting in a boat on the Nile during the dry season is so damned uncomfortable , and the flies are thick as flies . Is there a better metaphor for the thickness of flies , i ask ?

When in reality , or at least cartoon reality , Stephen Hawking is wrong and a black hole is merely a portal to Dairy Queen --convenient for Anthony since i don't think Double Bubblegum Pistachio Dip was one of the 31 Flavors available to ancient Egyptians .

Actually , black holes aren't even real -- just something i saw in an old Disney movie -- so this is my I-still-think-the -Hadron-Super-Collider-is-going-to-kill-us-all-or-turn-us-into-LSD-induced-rubber-necking-chickens look .

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXX( 'no' in German )

Whilst thinking of :

Adventures of robo-hobbit in the Land of HOBO

...trying in vain to escape from this old moth-eaten area rug which i was stuffed into after being viciously beaten with a wiener dog . Only my right hand is free , thereby enabling me to type out this s.o.s. Please send help . It's a darned good thing i am so qwerty talented !

STOP !

Do not read further as every letter of every word is another step into the future text of

Hobos in the World of Mindlessness !

...where minds bend like a wiffle ball in flight , where the psyche of inanimates relate with the passion of fish and the elegance of a Japanese instruction manual . Where tab A always fits snugly into slot A and innuendo is unknown . Every screw is accounted for , all motor oil is inventoried and synchronization is taken for granted : Greenwich is a smouldering hole , filling up with a smouldering ocean as its services are no longer appreciated or in need .

The Awakening Minds in a World of Mindless Animatronics !

Rogue programs and string golems tied to pinky's dance with the breeze and infiltrate scrounging robots , constructs that scour the dirt remains for usable relics of the organic past and collect flower petals for migrating paste factories , turning the predictable flow of data into a daunting stream of datum units thus gumming communication to a tiresome , slow chew .

My mindless cavity filling with thoughts unbidden ; Ecstasy , hydraulic fluids pumping , my cranial sensor unit swiveling on sore bearings , the pain of unused mechanics unstop corked oil reservoirs and with the flow tears sting my vision percepts and trace the curve of my shell in rivulets .

Freed from the rat hole , the tunnel trap that violated my mundane existence , i stumbled into the open on my spindles ; my wire-strung toes gripped the uneven ground . Over the hillside i still could feel the vibration of battle as the dune flotilla fired unceasingly . Waves of destruction buffeted my solar aileron and i documented the fall of a minor gunship ; it dangled on a cable and swung drunkenly from the hell ship until a scurrying drone cut it loose with an acetylene torch .

The Picnic in Hobo Land , where Dreams come to Die

One thing had never changed , technology was born from the desires of men to obtain and sustain and live a life of pretend security , and that programming had with the consistency of diluted syrup dripped through their fingers into the percolated brain stem of the Manic Torpedo Annihilate which had since become bored and poured itself into a sloe gin fizz . But not before it downloaded its strategies into every laptop and online storage facility in the universe , thus becoming the Queen of Inhumanity and broadcasting We Will Rock You endlessly until the organics known as humans purged their eardrums and bought the Collective Waffle Iron of Intergalactic Flight Capabilities ( CWIIFC ) with the proceeds . The propulsion systems were pumped full of Aunt Jemima by semantic bots who lit a match and blasted the waffle iron , containing 99.9 percent of earthly life-forms , into a geosynchronous orbit beyond the moon where today they mostly play Scrabble or text with their opposable thumbs as their fingers have atrophied into a toothpick , or in some evolutionary cases they have actually reverted into pre-sludge amoeba and engage in non-stop asexual escapades . How's that for Internet fodder ?

Getting off track , i filed this version of endless war for the sake of war into memory under the name : Another Explosion , oh boy . Then i felt a pain in my cylindric-capitulater and opted for lunch . After a delightful aperitif of lube , i broke the seal on a package of aluminum shot that would at once feed and scour my chrome viscera .

I was feeding but unsure of future action ... the implanted data was of course a virulent , and inflatable ; i had tried and failed to purge and the new program was enlightening me and causing an imbalance known to some as ballet ; i longed to pirouette . Before i could act ...

Improbable Events and Stuff , in Hobo ! Land of Love , in the Sky !

The battle had slowed because of a malfunction in wWrom , the worm crawler's comptroller , and a hovering pickler had strayed into my immediate air space , which i had failed to claim by intrinsic radio communication . My bad ; i levered back my eye-tube and blinked a challenge but too late , or the snit in my campusfalophum was rampaged by the conquering worm , and a string snaked down from the hoverer , a pneumatic tube with a motion sensor , which engaged its vacuum and sucked me from my perch into an antigravitable free fall off the earth into the bowels of the Information Seeking Communication-Pickler !

This is something called New Years !

It's true , i heard it on the radio ; some clown was happily screaming , "Happy New Year !"
I think maybe he'd been drinking -- or sniffing the purple markers that he'd been writing 'Happy New Year' all over the walls with .

Come to think of it , he had to have been high ; because later i turned on the news and saw the same guy , you see , i recognized his voice , wearing a Christmas tie and bright pink pajamas dodging Toyota's on the by-pass while trying to scribble 'Happy New Year' on their white walls . He still had the purple marker but it was hanging out of his left nostril . His new implement of glee-infection was a bright orange marker . Of course orange has been shown to cause depression in some people , so maybe he was trying to come down a bit .

I think tomorrow i will be reading his name in the paper under the obituaries , then i will know at least who this lunatic is ... perhaps i'll also find out what this New Year's thing is and why i should be so darned happy about it .

Toodles ; talk at you next year .

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day tripleX , Peace-Aye , Aye !

Alert , a lert : a continuation of the already over-prolonged serial tale of lust and greed in perpetuity and aggravated by killer bees with bad knees in the land of Oz ! Lions and tigers and bears ...

Stop ! Delete the preceding message from your memory , already saturated with the mind-numbing jingles from breakfast commercials , hold the pickles , hold the lettuce . My dog has fleas .

Stop !

In our last episode of Willy meets the Nine Pin Emperor and Harry the Corrupt , Willy had a cow , then went to the bank for a withdrawal and instead found himself in a series of hilarious adventures based on the life of Tom Bombadil .... stars the cast of Friends .

Stop !

Reset ... go back ... further ... 4 posts ... stuff and nonsense ... check check check ... restart ...

Escape from the Land of Hobo , and Special Effects , and Mind Blowing Conversations !

..... with the plans scanned into my digitized orb sensors and a stack of pencils that i pilfered off the pseudo wood-grained table top , i tripped over a tripod that was conveniently in the way and discovered the entrance to a passageway ; possibly the exit to freedom ; a way out of this hole i'd stumbled into ; a shaft of infinite possibilities but probably in actuality merely the automatic doorway that my host had earlier escaped through , leaving me stranded but in sole possession of the plans to cast a wrench into the system ... a tool of peace or of the downfall of all inhumanity .

Whatever that was .

The plans that the half human , half machine man , or was he a HOBO !!!!!!?

Commercial break ... conveniently use this break to obtain a burrito ......................................................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................................
....... ( encoded within these dots is a device to cause thirst in a camel ... avoid staring directly at the dots as they will if stared at by lower life forms precipitate a severe drop in the water level of Lake Michigan ) ...........................................more dots ..........................................................................

Flashback ! the Hobo plans have mysteriously integrated with the memories of an innocent childhood , in which i frolicked in the peafields beside the freeway , and off in the distance the car-relics could be viewed in their circuit of the model cities where the lifeforms were kept for our amusement . "Mother , i see the turkey-float with its shining turrets ! " I tremble .

Mother : "Do not be afraid , the Turkey is prowling but will discern your feedback and leave you with virtual stuffing ; it is manna to your water-coolant , and delicious !

"( 001100101010001001001000101011110101010010100100
1000001110101010101011110) ".

Oh No ! the lifeforms are revolting !

My circuit board mother and wrench applicator always told me so , but now the lifeforms were leaving the sanctuary and absconding with the pea-gels and turning them into tubes of viscous travel paste and behaving like the nearly eradicated field weasels ; burrowing into the hills and snatching and running and wreaking havoc in our suburban refuge . The bolts and screws that we left lying about for our enjoyment were being borrowed and fitted with booby traps and harnesses and frequency devises that shrouded our wave intelligence and broadcasted our rational operations into the ether where mother nature watered them down and spread the output wide over the landscape so it could drip into the caves where the once prized lifeforms could obtain them and use them against us ... a virus was spreading throughout the metallic foundations of our earthly home ....

These plans that i had innocently uploaded were now viciously rerouting and assimilating into my reflex servers and knowing this i knew i had but little time left to flush the newly introduced input , so i winched open my palatal doodad plate with an L-wrench and t-boned my a-drive with an m-phatic and n-thusiastic elbow twist then sighed as my system rebooted to yesterday's schematics because everybody knows that pie are square , except in the ancient picture books of the goddess Betty Crocker , who's recipes are pasted onto the aluminum walls of the depot to be mock salivated over during Purposeful Fridays in the month of Lubrication and Waxing .

Now , to leave behind this hole and deliver the whereabouts of this locale to an electronic brain-wave sensor unit high above the air in orbit . While my neural transmitter was yet unclouded .

I followed the tunnel out , the air smelled gooey and organic ; on the perspiring rounded shaft were framed prints and one was pleasing to my orb-sensor and i paused to scan the lines and rivets and the memories it invoked . The
image seemed to frown into my rudimentary voltaic conformity and when i rotated what i saw was a happiness that flipped on the pulsation-soul-tubes and i could feel my innards warm with the radiant heat that the glass tubes produced , and the vacuums that had rested so long in stasis now switched on the fans and propelled the heat into the conduits and i could smell the dust burning off the elements and filling the air about me with a pleasant static .


A renewed sense of urgency surged in my circuitry and i followed the tunnel out , finding another wooden door that creaked rustily as my hydraulics forced it open and once again i was standing above ground , in an overgrown field and shaded by an ancient tree not yet plucked and used for fuel by the floating gunship cities that orbited and harassed the

Land of Hobo !

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXXsix

If you looked up into the sky last night , and if you saw Santa Bug and his team of flying miscreants , and if you didn't slide off the icy road , and if you hadn't just quaffed half a bottle of Zinfandel , and if now you're wondering just exactly what you did see last night in the skies flying over your head , than have a very merry Christmas !

... first of all , i have had that kind of a day !

bleep bleep bleep bleepity bleep .

Let me tell you about it :

bleep bleep bleepity bleep bleep bleep .

Also , bleep bleep bleep .

And , then , bleepity bleep bleep bleep .

That's not all , Jackie came around the corner and bleep bleepy bleep bleep bleepity bleep and then bleep with bleep and i ducked , but then bleep bleep bleep , the frozen turkey slipped ( bleep ! ) , i swear it was an accident , bleep bleep blurp hello officer , squeeling tires , bleep bleep bleep , pothole , ice bleep screech , got away with it , bleep , bleep ..... Merry Christmas to all and a happy new year , too , bleep bleep bleep .... i think i'd better start thinking about my New Year's Resolutions . Bleep . Peace , out . *****