Tom and Dinosaur Hand present:

Tom & Dinosaur Hand Review!

Movies, and more Movies!

Tom: Hey, Dinosaur Hand, how are you enjoying this snowy January. Oops, doorbell. Hold on a sec, be right back.

Dinosaur Hand: Ho there, he’s gone! Come here Frankie, we’ll do this without him.

Frankenfinger: Yubbajobba! Potato Chip, pork chop.

D.H: First let’s throw out the mamby pamby feel-good stuff, like Green Card. We know he loved it!  So what.
Frankenfinger: Sweet potato fries.
D.H: I say we review some of these awesome science fiction slash fantasy movies. You know, stuff not Oscar-worthy with no redeeming values! What say you, my fine bloody finger friend?
Frankenfinger: Voondervah, don’t burn da wieners!

D.H: First up, an old fantasy from the mid 80’s with Tom Cruise and unicorns and a big ugly demon and fairies and weird impish dudes. Tom said he’d never seen Legend, wanted to know what it was all about.

goofy, impy critters

Frankenfinger: All about poop. Poopy poop, in fact. Me want Cheeto.
D.H: Yes, and very dated and not too good. A Wrinkle in Time was a much-anticipated adaptation of an old kid’s book. It was just okay. Good to see Oprah up and around, eh?
Frankenfinger: OAI! ‘Nuf said.
D.H: I don’t know what that even means. You probably liked Isle of Dogs, didn’t you Frankie? I thought it was mostly stupid, but hey, you can like it, because you know, dogs poop a lot.
Frankenfinger: Sir Poopsalot, that’s my poopy dog!
D.H: And a good one too. Wes Anderson needs to climb out of his goofy pit and join the real world. Blah blah blah. Well, here’s one I did like, it was definitely strange and ultimately apocalyptic. The movie I refer to is… The Lobster! Who knew? This flick was everything but normal.
Frankenfinger: Uh, sure. Me wanna be finger lickin’ chicken. Snarf narf narf. Nom!
D.H: Go on, you nutty bent digit. I don’t know what to say about Under The Skin. There are no words. Oy. Not S. J.’s worst effort, but WTF?

Frankenfinger: Needs more popcorn, an’ butter. OAI! Too much! Gimmie itches in me stitches.
D.H: Again with that acronym! Whatsit? We’ll do one more, before that sappy Tom comes back and wants to review something maudlin, like Benji and Lassie have lunch with Flipper. Gah! I really liked this last one, How to Talk to Girls at Parties. Awesome flick. We gravitated towards it, because it was labeled as science fiction, which I guess it was, kind of.

Who in the hell is Alex Sharp, and why does Nicole look like David Bowie?!

Frankenfinger: Truly, truly OAIs. Where da Whoppers?
D.H: Good night Nellie, enough! What is this OAI shit anyway? Spill it, Frankie.
Frankenfinger: Outrageous Alien Interaction, of course, doofusaur!

D.H: Ah, I get that. This movie was somewhat of a mishmash, but I liked the punk aspect of it, which Tom probably hated. It was sort of a combination of CBGB and ET meets The Munsters. Maybe, don’t know. There was a bicycle at least.  What’s your opinion, Frank?
Frankenfinger: Is there a Coke here anywhere? Me don’t even like movies.
Tom: Okay guys, back atya. It’s go time. 
Tom: Um, what’d I miss?