the King's Advisors

Episode Seven.

“Oh, Denral Zang, und Deneral Zuce, wook at you two, how nize to zee yuse.” The generals entered, ushered in by two heavily armored spiders.  Thee Atrocious, self-proclaimed ultimate and eternal

Atrocious, squatted in the enlarged chamber on a purple mat in front of a big metallic platter. “How long now has I allowed yuse to liff, mebee toosday wid be da day? Mebee?” Thee Atrocious had an on and off speech impediment, complicated by multiple fangs and tusks sprouting from its oral cavities.

 The generals bowed, a new honorific for the horrific new Atrocious. The former had submitted meekly at first sight of this succeeding one, and was summarily disemboweled then dined on with fresh blood turnips, an otherworldly delicacy.  “We are grateful for this chance to live, Thee Largest and Most Awful Atrocious. Forgive us, and let us do your bidding again, just for this day, if it pleases his Most Atrocious,” submitted General Xious to the beast. He had become gray, and noticeably thinner.

 “I too,” said the other general, Xiang. She prostrated herself to the great thing, and her words were garbled under her flattened face against the floor. “You, Thee Utmost and Never-to-be Defeated, Biggest and Baddest of All and Ever, Thee Shamer of All the Universe, Big, Bad Atrocious Monstrous and Planetary Thing. We are humbled to orbit your Atrocious, Hoary Body.”

 Thee Atrocious seemed to blush as these new compliments spewed forth. “More, more. Thish ith ekseelent!” It rose red faced and clapped some flippers, sending bits of flesh and bone into the platter, where they rattled, then settled to the bottom of the concavity.  “No, no. Neversmide, we has bithness to dikscuss. Cummon, sit.”

 They approached and sat cross-legged on the opposite side of the immense platter. “How can we be of service, Thee Atrocious, thee Foulest and…”

 “Enuph, enuphhh,” it spit and dribbled. Things had changed, plainly. The new administration, Thee Atrocious, had firmly planted itself in the boardroom for the foreseeable future, halting any new egg growth, thus thwarting any chance of being unseated. It had also stopped the influx of new technology to the earthlings, and even criminalized use of the previous granted gifts. These new policies were protested by the cabinet of humanoids, brought along from beyond this galaxy, but they were set on by Thee Atrocious’ loyal Space Spiders, and held as hostage to outlying factions, or packaged for later consumption. The former Atrocious was vile, by every stretch of the imagination, but it had at least upheld the program’s directive: To serve and protect the Earth civilization by educating and policing, and firmly limiting their dangerous potential to the universe, as a whole. This new Atrocious had upended all tradition to become a bloody dictator. It was on the verge of destroying an entire civilization.

 “I hath brut up thum new yoomins from under, ash we haff lost summa da olduns,” it referred to the overseer humanoids which were no more. “Summa dem can be new denerals, like yoo. Summa ken be fleshy toys or jus wigglies, or fud. Wat yoo say?”

 “Excellent, Thee Atrocious,” said General Xiang. “As ever, your ideas are the best, and most awesome.”

 Thee Atrocious waved at its spiders, “Brig dem in, then.” Its stomach rumbled both loudly and visually, and a steady stream of drool flowed from its rictus, green face. As the spiders turned, the generals both sprang up and jumped to their retreating backs. From the armored flanks, they fluidly drew the spider’s scimitars, and then rolled back toward the platter to face the big, appalling monster. Thee Atrocious clapped and grinned so frightfully that its face nearly split, stretching apart and held only by tense, reddening sinews. “Ah, sooo,” it breathed. “Ah, sooo.”

 With their swords, the generals attacked from both sides. Xiang was first, her curved blade feinted at the monster’s face, but when it made to block the attack with a tusk, she ducked below and the scimitar bit deep into its torso. Thee Atrocious never made a sound, but took the blow, sucking the sword deeper, until it and her hands sank into its blubber. She let go and pushed her feet into the beast, forcefully pulling her hands free. Xiang back flipped to the ground, dodging as its barbed tail whipped around to pinch her.

 As she danced free, General Xious planted his sword point first into its ear, twisting as he dug in. Thee Atrocious moaned, and greenish pus spurted into the general’s face, forcing him to cough and lose his grip. The discharge was slimy, and Xious lost his footing, and the sword. At the door, the spiders turned, while the earthlings beyond looked in, horrified at the melee, and the beast within.

 “Look athis, yoomins, look thee vut I can doo!” Before the generals could regroup, its tail fanned out, spikes splitting forth from its rim, and raked the attackers, chopping and carving them into unfortunate, imminent corpses.  Xious and Xiang lay, fragmented, bloody, and Thee Atrocious gathered them up and sluiced them into the platter, where they slid down and coalesced as one indistinguishable heap. Only the eyeballs looked out, dismayed for a moment in time, then lifeless.

 Thee Atrocious squirmed and rubbed at its ear. “Piddle paddle, piddle paddoo. Go ahead, spiderz. Brig dem in. We needsum noo denerals, we doo. Wee du.”

Episode 8