Tom & Dinosaur Hand present:

Movie Reviews!

Dinosaur Hand: I think a lot of time has passed since our last review.

Tom: Right, we've seen a few movies. But let's keep it down to four movies for now.

D.H: Can I pick? Oh please oh please!

Tom: Yup.

D.H: OK; Prometheus, of course, and Lockout. How about Hunger Games too...What else?

Tom: Let's do Woman in Black, we just watched it on DVD a couple nights ago. This film starred Daniel Radcliffe...

D.H: Harry, Harry Potter?

Tom: Yeah, and others, but not too many recognizable faces. His wife is played by the beautiful Sophie Stuckey who gets next to no screen time. This is horror, and psychological thriller. These days it's all about the twist, ala M. Night, but there's not a real big ninety degree angle at the end of Woman in Black.

D.H: how about isosceles?

Tom: Whoa. I'm too far gone from basic trig to even remember what that is Dino. Anyway, Radcliffe plays a Victorian paper pusher whose job is on the line, who lost his wife and is raising his young son with the help of a nanny. The son sees and draws his father as a very sad man, and for much of the film Radcliffe plays it close to the vest. I've always found him rather emotionless, and the character Arthur Kipps is driven only to succeed, expression isn't required to keep up a plodding existence. His son is lonely and pines for his sad father, but the job is the only way to keep the family together.

D.H: Yeah, and the job is deadly, dude! Creepy deepy.

Tom: Right. Woman in Black meanders through dark and ugly avenues the first half, then plunges deep into horror. It's a little bit Ghost Story and little bit The Others with some good old fashioned ghouls and gaunt faced children thrown in just to make you throw a pillow up over your eyes.

D.H: It was alright. Sort of a yawner.

Doesn't she look grand in black?

Tom: Anything without guns chicks and explosions is a sleeper for you, Dino. But I liked it well enough. If you're a fan of the genre, then Woman in Black is a safe bet. I just wish Radcliffe could have channeled some more of his inner Jack Nicholson in the wrap up. Satisfying ending, see it.

D.H: Hunger Games was sort of cool. But it wasn't bloody enough.

Tom: I know, but it was taken very faithfully from a book written mostly for the young adult crowd and it had to have a PG-13 rating. Still, there was plenty of violence. The subject matter demanded death, and death of children to boot. Hunger Games is set in a typical dystopian world where a big evil head seems to dictate what the masses do. I keep thinking John Hurt, he's the perfect big talking head, but in Hunger Games big brother was played by Donald Sutherland. The cast was deep, played over the top by the likes of Stanley Tucci and Elizabeth Banks. Surprisingly Woody Harrelson was a fairly mild mannered drunk. He comes into play more in the following chapters, I imagine. Yes, this is a trilogy, and the first book is the best. I hope the movies will only improve.

D.H: More flaming arrows, please. Katniss is a cutey pie.

Tom: Hunger Games was fine. It was alright. It's worth seeing. Didn't raise the bar and wasn't epic.

D.H: Next...

hunky spaceguy, hot spacechick

Tom: What can I say about Lockout?

D.H: Me. Me me me me me. Fast paced, space stuff, guns, running around and explosions. Hot sweaty space chick, quirky surly bad asses, one liners, no way outs and ridiculous stunts.

Tom: Yeah, Lockout was supposed to be some kind of updated Snake Plissken Escape from NY vehicle, and while I love Guy Pierce to pieces, I don't think the material was there to back him up.

D.H: Yar, he was buff and snarly.

Tom: I can't say enough how good an actor Pierce is. Maybe see Lockout just for him, but honestly I'm surprised he took the part. Maybe he wants to become more mainstream, pump up the old resume, become an A-lister, make a billion before fate strikes him down.

D.H: Mortality man, it's a bummer. Look at these lines on me man, the veins...I gots crinkly fingers, rawr!

Tom: You're pruny, Dino. Lotion up. So, I can't recommend Lockout, even if Dino's getting a cramp thinking about Maggie Grace.

D.H: Big Event, Prometheus! Pow!

Tom: Right, this movie had to be major anticipation for summer movies. The Alien franchise was just begging for something so grand and so epic to come along. And in its way, it was epic.

D.H: Yeah, gnarly gritty space stuff, and creatures, and messy bloody gargling gooieness.

Tom: Um. Not enough scary creatures, considering what's come before. Not enough space and isolation, not enough horror or thrills or sweaty trepidation...

D.H: Eh. We needed more Ripley.

wowz

Tom: I guess the cast was alright. The robot guy was awesome. He was epic. Charlize Theron was cute in her trim fitting captain's uniform. She simply wasn't bad ass enough, there weren't any convincing madmen, just an evil past that seems to have caught up to humanity. Is humanity inherently evil? I guess it's built into the DNA and our destiny is set. I won't delve any deeper into it, there is a lot of mystery build into Prometheus, and I'm pretty sure we fans of the saga would rather have satisfying conclusions and outright scares over more questions and stupidity.

D.H: Uh-huh, he said Stupid!

Tom: Sorry, Prometheus is just a little bit dumb. Still, if you're a big fan of the Alien saga, then it's a must see. So, see it. But expect to be disappointed.

c'mon, wouldn't it be cooler if they had kept their helmets on?