Dinosaur Hand: We need a plane! Without an airplane we are doooooomed!
Tom: We are not getting a plane.
D.H: then a jet pack, a jet pack!
Tom: That's the last time I watch a disaster movie with you, Dino. When we watched Armageddon you thought we needed a space shuttle, and after Alien it was a flame thrower.
D.H: Hey, that's still on my Christmas list. I'm not forgetting!
Tom: Sheesh. If you haven't guessed, last weekend me and Dinosaur Hand watched the movie 2012, and this is our review.
D.H: Review? How can you review this documentary? It was so real...we are all gonna die.
Tom: It's not real.
D.H: we'll die, liked burnt up marshmallows! Flaming melting burning death!
Tom: So, in this movie, the whole world is coming apart because solar flares are heating up the earth's interior and the upper crust is shifting over the magma.
D.H: magma is nasty. I like saying it to little children: “Magma!”
Tom: Don't. Okay, this movie is way over the top and silly and totally unreal...
D.H: liar liar pants on fire.
Tom: ...and you're all going to say, 'well, so what, it's supposed to be.'
D.H: I didn't say any such thing.
Tom: Fine. The movie is beyond silly; it's just plain stupid. If the earth's interior is heating up, why aren't all the people sweating? Other than falling into holes and being crushed by buildings, nothing much seems out of the ordinary.
D.H: We need to move into the desert. No buildings...oh, but aren't cactuses tall?
Tom: Also, how many times do we have to watch an airplane fly under something big that is falling, or watch an airplane speeding down a disintegrating runway just to fall into a gaping hole, but safely fly out the other side...and if everything else for a hundred miles is falling into a magma pit, how does any portion of a runway exist at all?
D.H: It's fate!
Tom: No standout performances, either. Woody Harrelson plays a nut-job, but what's so unique about that? Wacko is his forte.
D.H: Wasn't there a dog? And some spoiled fat rich kids?
Tom: Of course the rich kids were disgusting, but came around in the end. And the dog lived. Cute.
Toby: Woof!
Tom: Thanks Toby; I give it 3 woofs out of 4. That's on a negative scale, people.
D.H: well, I for one was terrified. Now about that plane...
woof:
Tom: We are not getting a plane.
D.H: then a jet pack, a jet pack!
Tom: That's the last time I watch a disaster movie with you, Dino. When we watched Armageddon you thought we needed a space shuttle, and after Alien it was a flame thrower.
D.H: Hey, that's still on my Christmas list. I'm not forgetting!
Tom: Sheesh. If you haven't guessed, last weekend me and Dinosaur Hand watched the movie 2012, and this is our review.
D.H: Review? How can you review this documentary? It was so real...we are all gonna die.
Tom: It's not real.
D.H: we'll die, liked burnt up marshmallows! Flaming melting burning death!
Tom: So, in this movie, the whole world is coming apart because solar flares are heating up the earth's interior and the upper crust is shifting over the magma.
D.H: magma is nasty. I like saying it to little children: “Magma!”
Tom: Don't. Okay, this movie is way over the top and silly and totally unreal...
D.H: liar liar pants on fire.
Tom: ...and you're all going to say, 'well, so what, it's supposed to be.'
D.H: I didn't say any such thing.
Tom: Fine. The movie is beyond silly; it's just plain stupid. If the earth's interior is heating up, why aren't all the people sweating? Other than falling into holes and being crushed by buildings, nothing much seems out of the ordinary.
D.H: We need to move into the desert. No buildings...oh, but aren't cactuses tall?
Tom: Also, how many times do we have to watch an airplane fly under something big that is falling, or watch an airplane speeding down a disintegrating runway just to fall into a gaping hole, but safely fly out the other side...and if everything else for a hundred miles is falling into a magma pit, how does any portion of a runway exist at all?
D.H: It's fate!
Tom: No standout performances, either. Woody Harrelson plays a nut-job, but what's so unique about that? Wacko is his forte.
D.H: Wasn't there a dog? And some spoiled fat rich kids?
Tom: Of course the rich kids were disgusting, but came around in the end. And the dog lived. Cute.
Toby: Woof!
Tom: Thanks Toby; I give it 3 woofs out of 4. That's on a negative scale, people.
D.H: well, I for one was terrified. Now about that plane...
woof:
7 comments:
Agreed. That was a despicable movie.
i love your review, and couldn't agree more! that movie is one giant turd. i am glad you mentioned woody harrelson. you know every time i see him i start singing the kelly song.
Never saw the movie, but love the dog :)!
I must confess that any film with Woody Harrelson in it gets extra points from me - he always seems to enjoy what he is doing so much.
I love your reviews.
ha. have not seen it, and wont now...anything that makes a dog hide his face like that...
heh~
you and the dinosaur are funny.
sorry, the dinosaur is just a little funnier than you, but only a little.
Post a Comment