Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXeight

I was out walking and found myself way out by the gigantic big Happy Birthday sign on Marvelous Bob's Hill last week . You know , the hill where Bob rolled the Guiness record ? He was contused for a month . They named a hill after him and on his birthday erected a huge sign kind of like the Hollywood sign , only smaller . There was a lot of activity going down as i wandered there so i took out an old card i had in my pocket and sat down and sketched this scene , right down to the aliens that were hiding behind trees to the guys in the hazmat suits . I like Bob's Hill , especially all the plastic bushes and fake flowers ... it is a place you can enjoy ALL YEAR LONG ! Even the astro turf is green ... and there are sun lamps . You should see it ; give the county notice and they'll clear out all the bums for a couple hours .Enjoy .

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day ex-ex-vee-i-i

Hens & Chicks; Chicks & pennys; Oh-- on a Rock ! YES: I AM A CAMERA !!! (YES< YES) This Brit penny is now worth 12 American dollars...yesterday i stopped at speedway and filled my tank with just this one Bristish penny--because it's value doubled 6 times in an hour--AND i topped off some guy's SUV who i didn't even know !!! It was incredible--if you have any of these British pennys then don't accidently spend them at walmart or ditch them at cracker barrel as a tip (like i know you used to do with all those Canadian dimes !) because these British pennys are gold. The penny above it, you know ol' honest Abe, that penny costs more then 3 dollars to produce and is worth about as much as dryer lint--at least with dryer lint you can collect it and knit it into a blanket to keep you warm this winter in your cardboard box. If you move your box into the landfill the rising gasses provide a minimum of warmth, so the lint blankie is a sound choice...or a nice red lint-sweater is good too, and stylish. By the way, these hens&chicks can grow to the size of volkswagons with a lot of ozoneless gamma rays and the right amount of toxic fertilizer and they make excellant windstops for your box, or boxes if you had an addition put together with weather proof duct tape. I like the colored stuff...camaflouge is good--helps to confuse the hobos. This Just in, some Middle Eastern zillionaire just traded in all his british pennies for onehundredbillionSusanBAnthonyDollars which lost half their value after he stopped to tie his shoelaces and then he bought SouthDakota and turned it into a SuperKmart/GoCart tracklotionOnYourKneesUnderAFantasticTreeSucculantPerenial/SushiBar/
OffTrackCamelRaceParlor/DiscountTeaHouse/DiscountCigaretteBurnYourUpholstryFunhouse/
FlipFlopsAreGreat/PoliticianGetAwayStripperClub/BowlingAlley&HotWings&StylishShoeMart/
ShoePhoneOutlet/OhNeverMindThisIsGettingStupid!!!!!!!


...one more wasted page, a near empty sheet ripped from the machines sanguine grip and crudely ovined, discarded to the circular file...
















Once, in his youth, when the days seemed longer and life hadn't begun to pull at the worn treads of his trademark loafers, Edgar bummed a pickle.

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXvI

The Mysteries of Life explained , in code :

I have kindof blindly cruised through the Blogland and found that most Bloggers in the land of Blog are foreign speaking , that is speaking a different language other then English , or twelve . I have no ability in reading anything except English , and also I am not twelve . Therefore I have decided that other Bloggers in Blogland hold no interest for me . I am alone . Of course , that means that the other-than-English-speaking-Bloggers and the twelve year olds have no interest in me , too . Either , also and for-too-so .
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Whew , I am relieved ; now I can just blog on and on about stuff that I have always longed to , and not keep forcing myself to write only what I thought other Bloggers wanted to hear . This , because I now know nobody is reading this : the twelve year olds could care less and the other-than-English-speakers cannot read it anyway . To them it looks like this : 90833588#%%2537897&*&(?:LLKOug9jifjii woof woof duck , turtle.
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First in my arsenal is the fact that I have trouble reading tea leaves . I drink a lot of tea , so of course I think I should really be good at this . It would be great to start the day off with a cup of tea and then know what will happen for the remainder of the day . Like : watch out , there is a box that will fall off onto your head , so be sure to look up . Or : that lady who drives you bonkers will do it again today ; you should just turn around and go the other way . And : ho-hum ; it will be boring from around 10:30 to 11:45 so maybe sharpen your pencil and do a crossword . A 5 letter word for cavort is frisk .
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I am starting to experiment with the tea reading . It is sort of difficult , because I prefer Lipton tea . Not many leaves . At first I tried Maple leaves from the yard . Then I just dunked some Frosted Flakes from my bowl into my teacup . That was sort of messy , but tasted better than the Maple leaves . Have I peeked the interest of any twelve year olds yet ?
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I have decided against reading tea leaves . Of course , it was a success , but in retrospect , knowing that you will fill out multiple reports and receive several venders and post bills and log this and log that and order a couple of these and some of those just isn’t the sort of thing a person wants to think about at 4:30 in the morning over a cup of mushy tea . I prefer sitting in my socks and moaning for a few minutes . Ahhhhhhhhgggg . Uhhhhhhhhhhg . Blluubbbbblubuh blublabuhb . Zzzzzzzzzzz .
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So far this is the most accurate account I have blogged of my life , and it is all because I have stopped writing for the masses and instead for only myself : the only person in Blogland who is reading this . So there , all you plfff wobum speakers and twelve-sies . Goodnight , and good luck .
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Who said that ?

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXFive

This afternoon's daily rant of the hour ( disregard if you have had your own rant in mind ; however if you are in the mood for a daily up-to-date rant , but don't want to think of your own , then feel free to consider this one ) .

Today , as it snows ( see snow , below ) I contemplate a heroic tale . I am making this up as I go , be warned . The world needs a new hero , a super duper hero , someone like Batman or Aquaman who has the people’s best interests at heart . Someone , or something , who isn’t in it for the money or fame or even the plush surroundings of a comfortable lifestyle . Someone who doesn’t live life around fun or wine or women ( or men or insects ) or what’s on the telly tonite or who’s going to the super bowl . We need a hero devoted to our values and our lifestyle and committed to putting a fuel efficient automobile in every one’s driveway or garage or alley or curb or underground parking lot . Yes , we need Bill , or Warren or any other number of super rich gazzillionaires to step up to the plate and give every man women and child a handout . Because we know the government is too intent on giving away all of our tax money to the richest people in America who have already had a chance to spend their money wisely and consider the future , but who instead decided to line their pockets and get theirs while the getting was good .

Now , you’ll see , it is the hardest working people who will suffer while these fat-cats hoard all the money and buy up the best of what we’ve got to make themselves richer and fatter .

Now , on a lighter note , wouldn’t it be nice if we could also all have ice cream ? And fried chicken ? And mashed potatoes ? Every professional athlete making more then one million dollars a year should buy food and snacks for a designated community as often as possible instead of wasting their salaries ( getting paid millions to play a game ? ) on guns and strippers . There are people out there who had to actually pay for their education who are not making anywhere near a million dollars a year . Can you say 30,000 , or 20,000 , or less ? Geez Louise ! How do they afford T bones and caviar on that sort of green ? Some of them can barely feed their children , let alone 6 dozen mistresses and a colony of bodyguards and childhood friends all driving large black SUVs .
Isn’t the snow pretty ?

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXIV

…in my defense , I did not see it coming . First was one thing , just going along , minding myself , nothing further than one step then another , and so it happened : the occurrence . Whose fault , doesn’t matter ; you will worry and fret , feel bad . They’ll say , hey , one of things , not your fault . Maybe , but one second the world is good , everything is moving along ; the next out of the blue everything is changed -- different . How can one second , one misstep , one look away matter so completely ? The birds don’t mind , the traffic won’t stop , disease and famine and the moon won’t deviate its orbit , nor will the planets or the suns or the universe …it is life what is life what’s it matter who knows nobody .
You see , i am already thinking about new additions to the garden , next year . On my roof i have meticulously spelled out : "Aliens Welcome , Bring Cookies". Because guests always feel better when they don't come in empty handed . Or gadgets would be nice if they don't bake . Laser beams or fancy intergalatic beverages are always good ... but really , how many Goofluvian Batmaster Drips can you keep in your cupboard ... just one shot and you have to use up all your vacation time just to pry yourself off the ceiling ... i still have the popcorn-spray imprints from the last time . What i really need are some glow-globes for my garden ; they would look nice by the purple smoke tree , the one that Meister Phlintmatrix brought from Z-9 eleven last spring . The tree is really doing well , other then that incident on Independence Day when it ended up competing with the city fireworks and burnt down all the houses on the other side of the street .

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XX@2(add ONE)

So, the day is here , that special day Thanksgiving , when we all thank the indigenous peoples of our land , the Indians , who have graciously given us the turkey and pop corn . Without all the good stuff we have been given , surely our species would have perished from the earth altogether . And from the noble Indian , we gained our love of feathers , which we wear often upon our head . I am wearing my feather today . It tickles my nose , i believe i need to iron it , or starch it ... my feather droopeth . And from the great Indian we have marshmallow jello , it is good to see the marshmallows in the translucent green wiggly foods ... we all love the jello , but did you know that the ever-lovin' Indian also cooked a translucent salmon that was green , and beaver cakes , that were de-boned ? It's all good ... and of course the All knowing Indian was firstly from the planets that orbited The Great Sun , you know , the bigger sun outside of our solar system , that the interstellar Indian traveled from for many moons to reach our sun and give our puny race stuffing and raisins and other tasty goods . So give thanks , especially to our fore feathered friends , and wear your feather in fond remembrance of their greatness ... woo hoo hoo ! Thank you much !

Experimenting with Roman Numerals Day XXII

Nothing nothing nothing nothing if repeated enough times is no longer random but meaningless . In the long long long sequence of Pi how many times in a row is one digit repeated ? If ‘nothing’ could be substituted for the number 8 , how many times could the word ( nothing , corresponding to ’8’ --does that make sense ? -- ) be repeated in one sequence ? Actually , seeing as I have no idea what I’m talking about , and don’t care and neither does anybody else , what does it matter ( question mark ) .

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On to more important things ….
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There are rubber thingies on the desk , in a sealed plastic bag . I do not know what they belong to . Also there is Scotch tape , several paper clips -- some of the spiral variety -- ear buds , 3 pens and 2 pencils , Webster’s Thesaurus , a couple dozen shiny picture hanging nails , several dice of all colors and sides , a glass’ case -- empty -- a be-noted and torn piece of scrap paper , a stack of CD-R’s , an extra button sleeve complete with the extra button , and dust .
No money . That’s a shame ; I could use the money ; everything else is crap .

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It is almost 3 . I have been awake now for 11 hours . I think it is about time for a nap . I spent twenty three dollars ( and change , add some zeroes ) this afternoon . Money well spent ? Only time will tell . There is a broken Zune also , in its box .
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I have a Kleenex and lint in my pocket . My nose is a bit runny . It has been very cold this week . Unseasonably cold . This blog entry is way too revealing . Everything from here on will be a lie .
My dog is chewing on my running shoe . Stop it , Sam , bad dog . That shoe has more then 600 miles on it . The other one has about the same , maybe less because I like to hop on one leg occasionally for a few miles to fight boredom . I belong to a skipping club . Next week is the 10K Skip for Arthritis Skip . For 25 dollars you get to skip with a bunch of other skippers and get a T-shirt . And there’s milk and cookies afterwards . And Gatorade and a banana .
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Jelly Donut .
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A glass of orange juice every day cancels out all the bad stuff you do . You can smoke a pack a day and have twelve Twinkies plus drink a glass of orange juice and you will live to be a hundred and eleven . The cigarettes have to be Marlboro Box Sea-kelps . I prefer the one hundreds . And Twinkies is a euphemism for …ahem . You know . The orange juice is really OJ . Really -- I’m not kidding . But who wants to live that long anyway . Unless of course you can skip right up until the end ; then sign me up .
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And have Twinkies . Ahem .
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These spiral paper clips are really kind of neat … and they work just fine . That part was true .

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